Heartache ...

I guess it has been a while since I have been on my blog ... unfortunately I had to have a D&C at 9 weeks because we found out that the baby was not developing properly due to Trisomy 16. We were heartbroken & devastated. Then we found out it was a girl ... I am really struggling with the loss now that it is more real, more personal. I have been in a bad funk. It is hard to explain. I trust God, I know He has a plan for us yet I feel stuck. I feel like I am trapped inside my head and no one knows or even really notices. I have a harder time enjoying myself ... I just feel ... not myself. I don't really feel depressed or anything. I just feel ... yuck! ... just nothing really & yet at the same time raw. I continue to pray & I constantly (especially at night) think of my little girl & what we should name her. Until then ... heartache.