Surgery

I had my second uterine fibroid removed on March 23rd & seem to be recovering well despite a sinus infection that will not let go. :o( The surgery went well, it was supposed to take 2-2.5hrs & it was done in 45min. Dr Dudley is awesome. :o) It took me forever to completely snap out of it from anesthesia (surgery got out at 945is & we didn't leave until around 4pm).

I am hoping that I will heal in time to do a FET in June. We have just 2 embryos left & I am nervous but hopefully.

Such a long time to wait ...

I didn't realize how long it had been since I had posted comments on this baby journey blog.

I don't know how time has gone by so quickly. I just looked at  my October 16, 2010 posting and feel like I am in the same frame of mind "It's hard not to freak-out about the time that keeps slipping by as we have to wait to move forward with our fertility treatments. We had to pay our first "storage fees" because it had been a YEAR since our 1st IVF trial. I am sad to think that 2 potential babies are just sitting in storage. The prospect of having a child of our own seems so close & yet so far away. (sigh)".

I guess I have been just working and going to school again.

Just to fill in some gaps I had an emergency surgery (I tried to bleed to death) to remove a fibroid at the end of July in 2010. We did not end up doing any additional fertility treatments because Michael & I both lost our jobs in 2010 & ended up in foreclosure (that is still not over) .  Not so fun.

We are back in 4plex apartments that are 2-3 away from the 4plex where we lived when we first got married. LOL, I don't really even know what to say about that at this point. Ugh!

Time ...

I feel cursed to wait an eternity for the thing I have wanted most in life ... children.

I know in my head that "now is not the time" but it still hurts in my heart. I am doing much better with trusting that God is going to take care of not only our needs but also our "heart's desires". I feel a bit like I was missed on the "heart's desires" list ... 7 years running. :o( I see all the left over fertility medications in my frig and think ... wow these cost almost $2k and they EXPIRE next March and there is nothing I can do about it except wait, awesome.

Big sigh ... :o(

At least I have a new job to distract me ... for now. :o)

Time

It's hard not to freak-out about the time that keeps slipping by as we have to wait to move forward with our fertility treatments. We had to pay our first "storage fees" because it had been a YEAR since our 1st IVF trial. I am sad to think that 2 potential babies are just sitting in storage. The prospect of having a child of our own seems so close & yet so far away. (sigh)

We are in such a devastating financial state right now the idea of another IVF cycle is far from reality at this point. God has a plan I know yet, it is certainly "not right now".

Now we wait.

No idea ...

I have no idea when we are going to do another round of fertility treatments. Apparently God has something else planned for this time in our lives. We have no finances to proceed so now we simply wait until God provides ... waiting seems to be the worst part of this whole process. That and not knowing if this will ever work out. Sigh.

IVF # 2

Well, we are going to attempt a FET (frozen embryo transfer) in August. I start the medications sometime soon ... not sure exactly when. I started the birth contol pills this evening so hopefully they don't make me sick or gain weight. :o)

I had been doing really well with not having kids for quite a while this time yet, I had a really rough day on Sunday. We were at a friend's house with tons of kids playing on a trampoline and all the mom's & dad's around a fire pit ... I was feeling down and very stressed from work so that didn't help. I just felt uncomfortable being the only couple there without kids. I hate it actually and really don't know what God is waiting for ... I could cry over it but I am too stressed over things at work. One day at a time.
I did get to meet the new little son of a friend of mine. Eli, he is so cute and grunts like a little piggy. It's quite precious. His mommy and daddy waited a long time for his to come so I am especially happy for them. :o)

Hummmmm

Now with no school to distract me ... I really have the baby bug!!!